Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
