when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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