i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
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Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
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Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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