woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
