your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
