Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
