i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Randomize
