Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
