well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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