At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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