I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
