Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
