I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
