is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
