Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
