I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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