I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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