Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
