I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
It's never too late to be topless.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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