Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
