the new term for farting is butt boxing.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Panties = found
Randomize
