How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize