I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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