Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize