Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
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Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
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So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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