why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Randomize
