You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
