i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
