it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
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I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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