sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
