Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
