Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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