Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
