Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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