you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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