Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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