Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
