dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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