drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
