hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
