well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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