I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
your room smells of hookers.
And success
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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