Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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