I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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