okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
