it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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