This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
