Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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