hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I skipped work to stalk him.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize