I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
