I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
