I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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