It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
