Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
