seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
