once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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