the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
