Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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