dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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