yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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