Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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