I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Let's paint friendship bongs
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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