you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
